when's a writer not?

I like to think of myself as an able writer -- among other things, of course. I don't claim to be good, but passable. Which is to say, I keep doing it, and, oddly enough, I enjoy reading most of what I've written. Always want to re-write or edit it, but I do reread; maybe that makes me not a writer. So can you appreciate my frustration at having to write an essay on-the-spot in less than, say, an hour or so? With no reference material, just my sieve-like brain to rely upon? I wrote about three over the weekend, while studying for my mid-term (world civ, which was this afternoon). I drafted and rewrote, I typed up and printed out, I reviewed and made margin notes. I was especially pleased with the one about India. Don't think it helped much this afternoon. At least the one which was on the test was the last one I had worked on, so it was freshest in my mind. Was I supposed to do memorize them? Note, there were three possible essay questions for the test, only one of which was actually on the test. I've known about this for weeks, we've worked through each of them in class -- they were really quite straightforward, so I can not figure out WHY I had such a problem. Best I can come up with is that I couldn't quite follow the logic, or maybe didn't agree with the premise of the questions -- each one seemed a bit of a stretch to me, misdirected even, perhaps. Why not ask the real question you want answered? Or worse, that I just can not keep enough in my mind to do it well without help, i.e., notes. Maybe just an old block against essay tests rearing its ancient head! Bah. Probably half the points or more on the test are from the essay (otherwise I think I did well); the test is 25% of the final grade. No more tests until the final, but lots of assignments; I've done well on those so far. I'll never make an A in this one, but I can try to hold on for a B. The good news is, I made a 93.25 on my child psych exam last Thursday! And... I've been able to get two-thirds of the baby blanket finished, knitting while I took much needed breaks from studying over the weekend. Have been relaxing this evening: my son invited me to supper before I left campus, caught up with some email and blogs, and I watched the Nip/Tuck season premier tonight -- what a strange show. I watch the story part, hubby watches the 'operations,' amazed by the realism. Back to the books tomorrow -- summer classes allow for little time off. The lesson I'm learning is pick your summer classes very carefully. And the laundry is piling up. Bless my husband's patient heart and soul! LC