Like the tearful voice of a little boy who'd been cruelly taunted by his schoolmates: "I can't even wear what I want!"
Any time in my own mind my thoughts go along similar lines (i.e., I can't even [fill-in-the-blank]), the image of my son and the sound of his pitiful voice, comes back to haunt me, along with the heartache a mother has for those things which she is powerless to remedy.
I won't share the details. That would be embarassing to him, perhaps. But I will say that he overcame. He continued to wear the type of clothes he liked (though not that particular color combination -- no! that's wrong... he DID continue to wear it!), and once in senior high, where peer-pressure is so great, he REALLY wore what he wanted: camo pants and t-shirts. every. day. I even had one teacher/administrator contact me about it. I basically told them to jump in a lake: his clothes were clean every day and that was more than you could say about a lot of the kids. To say nothing of the saggy pants and exposed undergarments!
Now, tell me... could anything BE sweeter??
Good. Now I am out of my blue-funk about that sad little boy, whose situation was breaking his mother's heart (cause it was also bound up in my decision to stop homeschooling and put them in government schools) -- and likely, because I had been RIGHT there. I can still remember -- what? 47 years later?? -- from KINDERGARTEN, for chris'sake! -- an insult from a classmate about my plastic raincoat, which I thought was just delightful with it's matching umbrella!
What brought on the torment? Well, I have always done things just a wee bit differently than other people. In this particular case, one of the tasks in my job I do in a different order/manner than I was shown. I get the work done the same, and *I* think that I make fewer errors. But I am always afraid that my supervisor will aske me how I am doing this certain thing and that she will tell me that is why I make mistakes and that I should go back to doing it the way I was shown. However, the way I was shown, I believe, requires more repetitive motion with the mouse and keyboard to cut and paste.... nevermind the details. You get the point, and know I have hand pain to deal with every day, all day. Heaven only knows why this morning it was worrying me! It's not like I can't quit if things ever get too weird here. I like the money, and I like taking classes, but I don't *have* to work, thank all the gods and goddesses!
Thanks for letting me share, blogreaders.
2 comments:
Poor baby...maybe because I had so much to deal with at home, school stuff never really was a problem for me. I must have been immune to peer pressure...I always did what I wanted, wore what I wanted, and flew in the face of things...maybe that was why I was the queen of the geeks. ;-) As you well know, I have an independent streak a mile long...go figure.
Anyway, your way works...be glad about it. People are supposed to adapt and change the work as they become more familiar with it. It is the nature of the beast.
Cynthia,
I can understand this coming back to haunt you, given the situation at work and you are fortunate to be able to quit if things become too stressful. I hope you get some relief or help for your hand pain.
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